Not Impressed

Today, as I was travelling to a training, I passed through the hometown of my former fiance. I suppose I can call him that, since we were engaged for 2 whole weeks! I also had the great privilege of passing my former-future-father-in-law, or at least his vehicle (didn't notice who was driving, just saw the license plate.) While cruising through this town I had to pass the ex's law firm, which is prominently placed on the main drag. I usually stick out my tongue as I pass, but this time I didn't even turn my head that direction. He is dead to me. Kinda.

I have forgiven him for being an idiot. After all, who would reject ME? I have also forgiven him for being afraid to work on our relationship, since his biggest fears in life were to have a bad marriage or get a divorce. Now I'm sure that being an attorney he has seen plenty of messy divorces, bitter custody battles, and has a healthy fear of going down that road himself. But come on! To dump someone because we had an argument (or a whole weekend full of them, I'll admit) is a bit extreme. At least I think so. My biggest fears are drowning or having a disease so rare, they have to name it after me!

I suppose we never really had a chance at success. I was never adequately impressed with his material possessions (hated that darn Corvette!) and he has never had to struggle to make ends meet. We had completely opposite views of happiness, wealth, and what is charity. I continue to shop the clearance racks while he continues to get a new car and truck every year.

I am "over him" in the sense that there is absolutely nothing in this world that he can say or do that will make me love or even trust him again. I guess I'm not "over him" that I do think about him every day, sometimes good memories, sometimes in anger, sometimes because I still have gifts in my house that he gave me, and I'm too cheap to throw them out and buy my own! (Hey, that's a really nice space heater in the closet!)

Because of him I'm not impressed by wealth, or the desire to achieve wealth. People who have money worry about money, talk about money, complain that they have to pay money and complain that they're not getting enough money in return. They want more money and worry about keeping the money they already have. I always thought I'd want to marry a wealthy man, but now I see that there are a lot of strings attached: prenuptual agreements, keeping up appearances, and keeping up with those who have more money than you. It's just not worth it in my book.

On a recent mission trip to Haiti I met people who have very little by means of money, housing, clothing, or even food. Yet they were happy. They were joyful. They love their family, they love their friends, and they love their Jesus.  They wanted to share with us what little they had, knowing that back home, we have much more than they.

That, my friends, did impress me.

And I do want that. Very much.