Still Huffy...after all these years

It has been almost a  year and a half since my last blog post. Is blogging even "in" anymore? Since when have I cared about what's "in"? Look at my wardrobe and you'll find your answer!

Oh my, how I hate those "this is what's been happening in my life since I last blogged" blogs, so I'll summarize: started a new position for the same company for whom I've worked the past 12 years, married my pig-farmer redneck in a lovely-yet-low-key wedding, moved to the country, sold my house, and am contemplating gardening and tai chi. So all in all, not much going on. Oh, and I'm still wondering how I've lived without a DVR all my life!

I still have the same cynical outlook at life...apparently singleness was only a symptom of that problem, not the cause! So never fear, new and old readers, I'm still Huff, no matter what my last name happens to be!

Parent's Day

By reading this blog you'd never know it, but I compose blogs in my mind almost everyday; they just don't make it to fruition on the page. I compose them in the car, at work, while mowing the lawn, or whenever inspiration strikes. Some are detailed and fully fleshed-out, some are mere snippits, maybe more appropriately Tweets than full blogs.

The last one that I wrote in my head was about Father's Day, which I almost typed, then decided not to since I didn't go ahead and type my Mother's Day blog also.

So, in honor of BOTH of my parents, here is your combined Mother's/Father's day dedication blog:

THANK YOU...

1. for all the nights you stayed up with me when I was sick.
2. for all the days you stayed home with me when I was sick. (I was sick a lot!)
3. for all the Sunday nights I spent crying, pleading with you not to send me to school on Monday morning.
4. for all the times I "forgot" about a homework assignment until 8pm the night before it was due. (Stupid science fairs)
5. for attending every one of my sports games
6. for attending every one of my concerts
7. for spoiling me just a little, but not enough to be annoying :)
8. for working so hard on that 85 Dodge Charger that never did run right
9. for all the flying trips to the doctor 40 miles away
10. for always believing in me, even when I didn't
11. for never allowing me to "walk the streets"
12. for paying attention to me, though I always demanded more
13. for discipling me, though I didn't appreciate it at the time
14. for not giving me everything I wanted, so I didn't grow up with a sense of entitlement
15. for trying to protect me from the big, bad world
16. for wiping away my tears, both then and now
17. for being my best friends
18. for unconditional love, though I am, at times, but not very often, unlovable
19. for letting my make my own decisions, though you may see danger or trouble ahead
20. for reading to me at an early age, allowing me to develop a love of reading
21. for giving my a quirky sense of humor
22. for burying tons of kittens and a few puppies quietly and descretely, then taking me to see "All Dogs go to Heaven"
23. for Friday night movie night, and all the good, and horrible, movies we watched (Jack the Bear, need I say more?)
24. for cooking for me and allowing me to help cook also (though my love of food is both a blessing and a curse)
25. for not giving me an allowance, but working for it by doing chores (another one I didn't appreciate at the time)
26. for pushing me to make good grades and take the harder classes, though some "gravy" classes would have been nice
27. for all the trips to Tennessee to visit me during college
28. for all the help in maintaining my home (My Daddy-do list, as I call it)
29. for listening to me ramble everynight and complain about work
30. most of all, for being involved in my life, taking an active interest, and always guiding me to look to the Lord for important decision making.

The list really could go on, but these things came to mind first. Thank you for being awesome parents and I only hope that one day, if the Lord ever blesses me with children, they will know what awesome Grandparents you are! ( I know Buddy is awful fond of ya!)

Simple Life Rules

I'm not sure from where I stole this, but it's cute and worth repeating.

5 Rules to Remember in Life:

1. Money can't buy you happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard's name.

3. Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they are in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve problems but neither does milk.

I hope that clears up a few problems in your life.

15 Year Reunion

I have been invited to my 15 year High School reunion, to be held this September. I have actually been considering whether I should go or not. I have decided on not, but haven't committed to clicking on the Decline button on the Facebook invite. Below are my reasons for not going. See if I missed anything...

1. I don't want to.
2. Most of the attendees are married and have kids. I don't. Pictures will be thrust in my face and endearing stories of cuteness and precociousness will be assaulting my ears. No thank you.
3. I really don't miss any of my classmates. I have kept in touch with a few folks from high school, but from different graduating years, not mine.
4. I wasn't good enough for them to talk to me then, I'm too good for them now.
5. I wasn't even invited to the 5 year reunion, and the 10 year was slapped together last minute, complete with a picnic for the kiddos to play. Yeah, sign me up.
6. I don't drink, and as the reunion will be held at the Elks Club, there will be booze a'flowin. Drunk people annoy me.
7. I don't want to.
8. I can't lose 100 pounds between now and then without surgically removing something.
9. I don't think John Deere would have a good time. I know I wouldn't.
10. I have to pay to attend. They should pay ME for rehashing all those memories I have so conveniently repressed.
11. Our class song was Macarena. Honestly. 'Nuff said.
12. I don't want to.
13. I don't even know what one wears to such an occassion. Would I have to go shopping for a dress? Is it business casual? Should I dress in the lovely fashion of 1997?
14. I'm fairly positive there will be a movie I need to see that night. Or maybe I'll be washing my hair.
15 I don't want to.

I think those are substantial enough reasons.

Yeah. Not going.

So you had a bad day...

I have a job. Three of them, actually. I should be thankful, really I should. But days like today cause me to ponder just how hurt I'd have to be to get Disability benefits.

And I wonder why I want to spend thousands of dollars, much of my "free" time, and many hours on the road to pursue a Master's degree that will only help to secure my current position, which today made me want to stab someone with my pen. (But I didn't.)

Today, as I was browsing my Explanation of Benefit cache on my insurance site, I asked myself what would have happened if I had just remained calm, hadn't spazzed out about a stupid few swollen lymph nodes, and avoided racking up a couple thousand dollars worth of medical bills.

Waitressing wasn't that bad. Sure, while on shift it's mentally and physically taxing, but when the shift is over, it's over. No work to take home with you, maybe an extra shift now and then, but only when you WANT it, and you're not in charge. I would SO love to not be in charge some days.

But I try not to complain. My house has heat, my bed has a blanket, and no tornado has decimated my hometown. Though I had to sign a waiver giving my firstborn to BP, my car has a full tank of gas. No one has abused me, no one has taken away my rights (yet) and no one has told me that I can't believe, pray to, or serve my God.

So I guess things really aren't that bad.

The End of a Journey

Yes, it's been a while. I've been preoccupied with maybe having cancer. But I don't. Yee haw!

Over the past month I've had so many thoughts, so many conflicting emotions, and of course, so much lack of patience. If we can put a man on the moon, why can't a doctor figure out what's wrong with me?

But that's over now, except for waiting for something new to pop up and freak out all over again.

Next Friday I have an interview with the Counseling Master's Program at EIU. Praying that goes well.

Got a call today that my house did not appraise for a fantastic amount (curse you stinky housing market!) so I'll have to pay some of the closing costs. But still going through with the refinancing. Stupid not to, considering the long run.

Still seeing John Deere. He was wonderful while I was recouping from surgery. He was here every night, brought me food (always a winning strategy!) and we had a lovely little dinner for Valentine's Day.

Next Sunday will be one year from the day The Ex allowed me to get my engagement ring fixed knowing he was going to ask for it back, then asked for it back. Jerk. Well I followed his advice and found someone closer to home. However he reneged on the whole "I still want to be a part of your life" crap. Just as well. He was a like a black hole, sucking all the life out of me. I hope he's happy with the new woman and his new Corvette.

Still just a wee bit angry about that one...

Where's my medal?

Let me tell you, I deserve a frickin' medal for going, and staying, at the gym tonight!

I wait until 8pm to go, thinking most people would have already had their time and gone home. But nooooooooo. The place was packed. Muscle heads, little flippy-dippy girls, and me. Yeah, I'm the fat one there. Nothing new for Huff.

I walked on the treadmill for about 15 minutes as a warm-up, watching Stacey and Clinton of TLC's What Not To Wear. (Love that show!) Then I moved on to the weight machines. These machines, obviously designed by men for men, are not exactly female friendly. There are bars and pads in uncomfortable places, and on the bicep machine, I can't decide if the boobs should rest on the pad or just get squished behind it. It's a puzzlement.

There is one machine that I, well, kind of got stuck on. I wasn't so much stuck as I could neither get ON or OFF the machine. I think only about 3 guys saw my pathetic struggle. I did see another lady use the machine later and not have difficulties, so I decided to approach her and ask if there is a graceful way to get on and off that machine. (I usually don't talk to gym-mates, but this gal had big hips, so I knew she'd be nice to me!) She showed me a lever that I hadn't yet discovered, and it made all the difference!

So actually attending the gym, coupled with not eating everything in sight, has resulted in an almost 3 pound loss so far. Yippee!! Now just 97 to go! No, seriously. But all in good time.

A Knee and a Toe, and a Dog Named Bo

I have been absent this week, I apologize. I have been uninspired. I don't just want to blather on about useless information. That's what Facebook is for!

I have been having an inner battle with myself about going to the gym. I no longer have the excuse that my key card doesn't work, because I went by there when the dude was there and he showed me that I was using it incorrectly. Tonight I went and, since there was only me and one other lady, I took the opportunity to figure out how to use the weight machines. That was supposed to be part of my "orientation",  but dude seems to always be busy with someone else when I am there. I had a good workout tonight, going to be sore in the morning! But I'm also excited about my chance tonight (couldn't have looked stupid in front of the muscle-heads, now could I?) since my foot has been bothering me so much lately, and walking on the treadmill has become painful.

I was cursed with ugly feet. No really. I know everyone says their feet are ugly, but mine take the prize. I have bunions that have always bothered me, but now each step is excruciating. At least my left foot is. Which is problematic in many ways, as I had recently quit step aerobics because my knees hurt so badly, and I thought I'd take up the treadmill instead. It's a vicious cycle: my knees would feel better if I could lose 50+ pounds, but that's hard to do when it hurts to exercise.

I have researched bunionectomies (yes, that's a real procedure) and I will next research good surgeons. Something has to give. I'm not wearing shoes right now, and my big toe is throbbing. Weird.

Last weekend I spent quite a bit of time with John Deere. His mother invited me to their house for Sunday dinner, and that went well. So well that I stayed until after supper! John's mother asked me a lot of questions, friendly questioning, not an interrogation by any means. She mentioned they used to have a dog named Bo, which was the name of The Ex's dog. Add that to the eerily increasing list of similarities. And the fact that John knows The Ex. Remembers him from college. John said he didn't think any less of me.

Monday John and I ventured to a larger town to do some muzzle loader shopping. He did. I looked at just about everything else in the store. But there was Olive Garden and Stone Cold Creamery, so the day wasn't a total waste :) I was glad to spend that particular day with John, as 1/2/12 was one of the dates The Ex and I had picked as a potential wedding date.

This week I need to fill out loan papers, as I'm going to try to refinance my home loan, apply to grad school, and continue to resist temptation at work. No vending machine purchases for me last week! (Well, 1 Diet soda, but definitely no candy bars!) Now if people would please stop making delicious fudge and candy and bringing it to work. Evil, evil people.

2011 Retrospective

2011 was truly a roller coaster year for the ol' Huff. It began happy, with a (I then thought) great guy and a promising future. By Valentine's Day I was engaged to aforementioned-supposed-great-guy. 2 weeks later BAM! No ring, no future. With him at least. (Not a great guy after all.)

Then came spring, Huffy's birthday, and a swell vacation with the parents to Myrtle Beach.

The summer arrived with mild weather and a dog who no longer cared for the confines of his backyard, as he diligently escaped 6 times in 4 weeks. Back came the feelings of rejection as the Life of Huff began to sound like a country song... "I lost my man, I lost my dog..."

Another awesome mission trip to Haiti in July. I always look forward to the opportunity to serve, and also to see my brothers in sisters in Christ in a different light. I wouldn't trade the sweating, weird food or hot van trips for all the money in the world. (Well maybe. I could just BUY Haiti then. I'd rename it Huff-ati! Free ice cream for everyone!)

The fall saw a new man enter my life, grudgingly at first (on my part). It's been fun getting to know him and his family (Sunday dinner with the parents tomorrow, oh my!)

Tonight, on New Year's Eve, I am alone, by choice mostly. John Deere had made plans with some friends, assuming I'd be with my friends. A friend of mine invited me to go with her to her sister's, but I think I'll let them have time alone to reflect on their roller coaster year as well.

I like being alone. (It's a good thing, eh?) I like to think, to reflect, and to play Bejeweled :) But I digress. I like silence, or the opportunity to do whatever I need or want to do. Don't feel like showering? No problem. Don't feel like getting dressed? Don't have to. Wanna drink soda straight from the 2-liter? Can do.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is... things aren't too bad in Huffyland. Nope, things are pretty ok.

And that's all I've got to say about that.

All Christmas-ed Out

Yesterday John Deere and I attended my family's Christmas gathering. As usual it was loud, crazy and full of good cheer. John was polite and the family was nice to him. Much better than last year when most everyone ignored The Ex. But they usually also ignore me, so it was ok.

Today I attended John's family gathering. They are louder, maybe equally crazy but in a different way, and full of good cheer. Well, most of them.

I only have one more Christmas celebration, that with my Friday Night Gals. It will be a Wine and Cheese celebration with gift exchange. I can't wait!

I am so glad Christmas is over. Not because I bought so many presents and am now considering filing bankruptcy. Nor because I baked so many pies, wrapped so many presents, and hostessed myself into a tizzy. No, I'm glad it's over so I can finally stop singing or playing piano every time I turn around. I've been in 4 services/ performances in the last 2 weeks. I lost my Christmas spirit back in October after I'd already been singing Christmas songs for a few weeks then.

Being in church music ministry, I tend to lose focus of how important the event was that I'm celebrating. I feel like I'm going through the motions. Jesus was born, blah blah blah, he died, yadda yadda yadda. NO! This is NOT how I want to feel. I want it to be real, to hit me like a ton of bricks every year. That hasn't happened in quite a while now. And I'm kinda sad about it.

Next year I will participate in my church's read through the Bible in a year again. I did last year, and am a bit excited about it again because I bought a new Bible. Also the Rockettes, the ladies of my Sunday School class, will be doing another Bible study starting in January. I'm hoping this rekindles a fire in me.

I need it, because right now, I feel cold.

Christmas Card Envy

This must be the year of Family Picture Christmas Cards. I have at least 10 of them from my church alone. I know it's special to commemorate what the kiddos looked like in 2011, but come on people, if I'd have known I would have bought stock in shutterfly.com!

So, in the spirit of the family Christmas card, I attempted tonight to get Budzo in a few shots. Candid of course, since his attention span is less than that of a goldfish. I thought the webcam would be easiest for uploading, and maybe Bud wouldn't recognize it as a camera, which he has learned to shun. Here are the results:

This was in the early stages, before Bud got spooked, wondering "Why is she holding me?"

After this decent shot, I decided he might be more comfortable if I moved the computer to the floor.

Apparently I had forgotten that he likes to roll on my head as if it's a dead animal. One of those cute but weird quirks of a neurotic dog.

It only hurts when his tags pull hair out!

He finally gave up. I did too.

At least I know how he feels about the whole process!

Anyway, Merry Christmas from Huff and Bud!

This Means War!

This evening my parents, who happened to be in town, stopped by for a few minutes. While here I showed them the picture of The Ex and his new lady. They were as amazed as I to see the changes he's made. But then, they said the unthinkable. The worst thing they could have ever said. The thing that made my heart drop and my palms itch. They said, are you ready for it?

They said it looks like he's lost weight.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

It's not that he didn't need to, because honey, he made me look fit AND trim. It's not because it's healthier for him and will lead to a longer, happier life. It's bad because, because...sniff sniff...I've gained weight since he dumped me. Like a lot. Like a small child. Like a sack of potatoes on steroids.

So, never to be one-upped, this means war. And not with him, because he's not in my life anymore and could look like Richard Simmonds for all I care. (hee hee) But it's war with myself, my emotional eating, and with those pesky fat cells who have grown so comfortable on my person.

It's war with the fact that Christmas is coming, and all the deliciousness that comes with it.

It's war with the fact that I now know how simple it is to make chocolate-dipped potato chips, and I have the makings for a ginormous batch in my kitchen. Right. Now.

It's war with laziness, not wanting to get out in the cold to travel those long, long 4 blocks to the gym.

It's war with giving up because I'm going to die fat and alone anyway. (That's my fallback excuse.)

It's also war with resisting temptation, both with food and looking at The Ex's Facebook page to see if he's posted a new pic. Again not that I care, just that I don't want him to win.

In other news, John Deere and I attended my Sunday School class party last Saturday. He behaved himself marvelously, got to talk shop with a few other farmers, talked about hunting with a few others, and stayed even though I could tell he'd rather have left before I got involved in a game of trivia (always dangerous!) This Friday he's attending my Church staff dinner with me. Such a trooper.

Audit this!

This past week the counseling agency I work for had it's triennial audit for accreditation. So a clinician from Florida spent three exciting days in my town looking at files, interviewing clients, and perusing our policy and procedure manuals. At the end he gave us a report of his findings. While it wasn't horrible and most of the mistakes were easily correctable, the fact that someone, whose job it is to find your mistakes, is even in the building lends an air of stress and foreboding.

I got to spend almost all of Tuesday with him and a bit of Thursday. By that point I had had my fill of having my short-comings pointed out. There were a few times my blood pressure spiked, and a few times I had to fight back tears. He was not being mean or even condescending, but I put a lot of effort into my job, and to have someone criticize what I do and tell me I need to work harder when I already don't have the time or resources to do what I do, well, it just frustrates me.

Oh a brighter note, John Deere not only called on his regimented Thursday night, he also stopped by for a few hours. When I told him about my week, he did offer to go rough up the auditor, but I didn't think it necessary. He agreed to accompany me to my Sunday School class Christmas party tomorrow night. I just hope he adheres to the dress code!

Also this week I discovered, via the wonders of Facebook, that The Ex has a new woman. Or at least his profile picture is of him a some little.....ahem.....a lovely lady. My first thought was "Well good for him." That was quickly followed by "I hope she enjoys my ring." I have never wished him harm, but there is a small place deep inside Huff that is vicious and vindictive, hoping that he was wallowing in misery and lamenting the day he sent me away. And maybe he did. For a day or two. Then he got over me, colored his hair, trimmed his beard (he has dimples, who knew!) and reinstated that Match.com profile he swore to me he deleted. (I did see him on there recently, right before I deleted mine. Again.)

There was a lot of drama in my boring little life this week. I'm glad it's over. On to another busy week with two dress rehearsals, two concerts, one more church Christmas party John Deere is attending with me, and two work Christmas luncheons. If I make it out alive and not 20 pounds heavier, I'll be one happy Huffy!

The Redneck and The Nerd

So he listens to Country and I listen to Classical.

So he reads Outdoor Living and I read Agatha Christie.

So he tinkers with tractors and I tinker with the human psyche.

So he drinks Mt. Dew and I drink Trinidadian Coconut Coffee.

So he has never seen a Mel Brooks movie and I can quote them word for word.

So he shoots deer for fun and I cried like a little girl when I accidentally ran over a cat.

So he's never heard of NPR and my weekend isn't complete without "A Prairie Home Companion."

Does that mean we're too different?

To Infiniti and Beyond

This afternoon I felt like the biggest hypocrite on the planet. I led a group on worry and anxiety, relating how to plan worry time, postpone worry, and fix the problems that you can , thus alleviating much unnecessary worry. And yet although these sound like good ideas, I can personally guarantee you I could perfectly perform each step and still worry.

I asked the clients what they worry about. Money. The Future. If Medicaid will be around to pay for meds. What if I lose my home. What if my power of attorney dies before me. All great topics for worry. I encouraged them to not worry about the past, since you can't do anything about it anyway, and plan for the future, solving what problems you can, and researching and planning for those you can't.

What do I worry about? All of those things, plus stuff like: what if I fall and break my leg while I'm alone in the house and my doors are locked? What if I I live to be 112 and out-live all my family and friends? What if I lose my hearing and never get to listen to music again? What if I gain so much weight they have to cut a hole in my house to folk-lift me out?

A ha! To this problem, I have found another solution, and a whole passel of more worries!

I had been doing step aerobics two days per week, but my knees just can't stand it anymore. So, tonight I did it. I made the plunge. I joined another gym. And not the "beefcake" gym. No, the snobby, snooty, all the ladies there are pencil thin and wear designer work-out gear. Oh yeah, Huffy's about to invade their territory!

So now my worries consist of overwhelming feelings of inferiority, will I have to wait on a treadmill, and hoping no one is watching my fat jiggle as I walk. (Because we ALL know that is SO entertaining!)

But if nothing else, maybe I'll get back into the swing of exercising, possibly lose a few, and have a few stories to blog about. Yes, it's for you, my dear reader, that I am doing this.

And so my jeans don't constrict my breathing anymore.

See ya on the treadmill!

Come Skype with me...

You know, I've had this "new" laptop for almost a year, and have yet to Skype with anyone. I'm not even sure how. I've also not used the webcam save for a few playful pics using the tools to put a hat, beard and other cool accessories/backgrounds in the shot.

This morning I got my third (and last!) shot of Hepatitis B vaccine. I decided to get that particular vaccine before going to Haiti last summer, though it is much more likely I will contract Hep from work than a week spent in another country.

When I arrived at my office this morning, I couldn't get the door open. I offered to go back home, but after my boss pushed a pulled for a few minutes, he got the door open, fixed the latch, and welcomed me back to work. Dang, so close!

While walking down the hall at work I saw something fall off me, I kicked it, picked it up, and realized the button just fell off my pants. I put it in my pocket, knowing today was going to be just dandy!

I called the tire place, wanting to schedule the installation of my brand new tires for sometime this week. They said they could do it this afternoon. I no longer drive a huge skate, I grip the road. You hear me, GRRRRRRIP! Good thing too, with all the standing water I'll have to drive through to get to work tomorrow!

Community choir was actually kind of good tonight. Kind of. As an Alto I should know that the whole world bows to the Sopranos. But after all these years, it still ticks me off when the rest of the choir has to change what we're doing to the Sopranos can get their moment of glory. Or just get the note. They're not known for their ability to hear what isn't melody.

Buddy has had issues with fleas all summer, the worst I've seen him biting and scratching. I gave him his prescribed flea and tick dope, but I guess it didn't work. While I felt badly for him, I didn't do anything more for his flea situation. But now he's invited his little friends into the house. Now something MUST. BE. DONE. I itch as I type this.

I had to work both Saturday and Sunday this last weekend. While I appreciate the extra money (for my tire fund) I really didn't get a chance to just hang out at home. I need my down time. So now I'm a few bucks richer, but a few hours of sleep and a whole lot of book-reading/coffee drinking/bonding with Buddy hours deprived.

I did, however, manage to squeeze in a few hours with John Deere. He asked me what I want for Christmas. I didn't really give him an answer. I don't think he yet appreciates my sense of humor enough to pop off with "something shiny" and know I'm teasing. I don't know. What do you ask from someone you barely know? Any suggestions?

Huffy Thanksgiving

Hey you. Yes, you!

Don't you know it's Thanksgiving?

It's time to gather with family

and share in food and fellowship.

Get here however you can

and don't forget to give thanks before the meal.

It's allowed if you want to stuff yourself

but try not to eat like a

Be sure to eat lots of fiber

and also include an afternoon nap.

And if you don't want to join in all the Thanksgiving-y fun, then I only have one thing to say to you...

Have a happy, safe and blessed Thanksgiving everyone!

*I stole these pictures from all over the internet, so I can't really give them photographic copyright blah blah blah. I'm sorry if I stole your intellectual property. But thanks anyway!

Rules of the Road

When I was in high school, yea, those many, many years ago, we had something called Driver's Ed. We went to a semester long class, then had driver's training for something like 9 weeks. Then we got a permit that allowed us to drive with someone over 16. Then, on that blessed day when we turned 16, we got a real, genuine, driver's license. And we were official! No stopping us now! Cruising Main Street, here we come!

Now I know a lot of you are nodding your heads in agreement. You did too. But that was Fairfield. Apparently Olney doesn't have the same system. Maybe Olney didn't even have Driver's Ed. Maybe those poor, uneducated youth didn't even get the handy-dandy book called Rules of the Road. I sure did, and read mine. Cover to cover.

I've lived in Olney for 10 years now, and couldn't begin to count how many near-misses I have had with other motorists. (None my fault, naturally!) But I have noticed a blatant disregard for a large red, octagonal sign that merely suggests one stop. Luckily I am a defensive driver and when I see a car approaching an intersection at a high rate of speed, I slow down. I don't trust that idiot, ahem, other driver to actually stop. Or bicyclists who decide to totally disregard the Rule that says bikes are to follow the Rules of the Road, meaning you also ride with the flow of traffic, on the RIGHT side of the road, not down the middle, veering back and forth between lanes, or on the sidewalk.

4 way stops are a particularly sore spot with me. I avoid them if possible, but I must go through a large highway junction with a 4 way stop to get to work. I noticed this week the Stop sign was bent again, signifying yet another accident at this intersection. Why? It's a 4. Way. STOP! Why are there so many accidents here??? You stop. See if there are other vehicles. If not, proceed. If so, wait until they go. Sometimes there are more than one car and you all wait on the other, finally ending in a contest of who can wave the best for the other person to go. I've sat at this intersection many a time, allowing everyone to go before me. Hey, I'd rather arrive late than injured. My guess is that as there is a large amount of Semi traffic, cars try to sneak past a turning truck, only to get smacked when the approaching car is trying to do the same thing.

I witnessed an accident at this intersection a few years ago. I was coming down the hill, approaching the intersection and I noticed two cars, one driving north, the other driving east. I didn't  note which one got there first, they were both going to be gone by the time I got there. Or so I thought. As I was slowing the East-bound car T-boned the North-bound car. WHY?!? Did the dude assume the chick would stop? She was already half-way through the intersection! Was he high? Was he playing with his phone? I don't know. All I know was that it was freakin' cold that day and I had to stand outside giving assistance to the hysterical chick who had a 2-month old in the back, then give my statement to the butt-hole officer who arrived and made me feel like a moron. (He told me to proceed through the intersection, and when I did yelled at me and told me to turn around. Jerk face.)

Anyway, my simple lesson for today is : Stop means Stop. Yes you. It's not a suggestion. If you see my brake lights, it means that I'm going to stop. That doesn't mean you can pass me, honk at me, or ride my bumper. Speed limits are made for our safety. Yield means slow down and possibly stop, not speed up. One way means one way. Same for Do Not Enter.

It's not a hard thing. Just pay attention folks. Put down the cell phone, you're not that important. You know you're just gabbing to a friend anyway. Put down the Big Mac and pull over. Select your radio station before you put it in Drive. Discipline your kids when you reach your destination. And unless your dog also has a driver's license, don't have them in the driver's seat.

Fat Clothes

Some women have fat jeans and skinny jeans. Some women, me included, have fat wardrobes and, well, less-fat wardrobes. I couldn't possibly say that anything I've worn since 1981 could be classified as "Skinny!"

Tonight I gathered three garbage bags full of clothing I'm taking to a local consignment store. I could give them to the Salvation Army or Good Samaritan, but folks, I'm broke! A few bucks here and there...

Anywho, in gathering these bags of clothes I inspected each for stains, tears and size. I have everything form a size 14 to 24W. Some of the clothes are name brand, some Wal-Mart, and many I purchased from the same consignment store a few years ago. (Yes, I can remember where I get my clothes, even 4 years later. Please reference "Where's the Delete Key.")

As I saw cute shirts, comfy sweaters and swishy skirts, I had a sickening feeling for a couple of reasons. 1.) That's a heck of a lot of money I spent on all those clothes over the years, and some of them I know I only wore once or twice. 2.)Who really needs that many articles of clothing? People in Haiti are lucky to have one good shirt to wear to Church on Sunday. 3.) How the heck did I allow myself to gain all that weight back? (Throughout 2008 I lost about 80 pounds. And now it's back. With interest. Stupid, stupid, stupid.)

I had promised myself earlier this year that I was NOT buying any new clothes until I stopped gaining weight. I refuse to festoon this barge of a body any longer. Now that's not to say that I might get something necessary, like something Green so I can be in a dear friend's wedding in March, or cute boots if I catch them on sale :)

This is the worst time of year for a compulsive eater. As if it wasn't bad enough the rest of the year to stay away from food, the next 2 months are full of holiday dinners, office parties and people stuffing cookies and candy in my direction. At least my office is no longer across the hall from the kitchen at work. All day long I heard folks discussing the qualities of the cookies the copier company sent us, the chocolates the psychiatrist sent us, and the "better than sex" almond toffee the car dealership sent. Althought I really don't think the short walk down the hall will stop me from indulging a bit, I might feel guilty when I pass Kathy's office for the 17th time each morning.

From Attorney to Pig Farmer

I know you're not supposed to compare people. You're especially not supposed to compare yourself to others. But the most important may be to not compare the person you're currently dating to your ex. But how can you not? How can you not think, if only once and a while, "Well ________ never did that, said that, wore that, ate that."  What may be even scarier in when the current dude and the ex dude have similarities. Enter Twilight Zone music...doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo...

Similarities between The Ex and Set-up Dude (Hereafter known as John Deere.)
The Ex lived next door to his parents, so does John Deere.
The Ex played saxophone in elementary school, so did John Deere.
The Ex drives a Ford F-150, so does John Deere.
Both were involved in Future Farmers of America in High School.
Both attended Southern Illinois University, majoring in Agriculture.
Both waited until Date #3 to hold my hand. (awwwwwww)

Creepy, huh?

Now for the differences (obviously not all of them, that would take days to list. )
John Deere eats veggies. So far I've seen him eat broccoli and salad. The Ex never ate anything green.
John Deere opens the door for me. Every door, every time. The Ex only opened the door to his Vette, because I couldn't get the stupid thing to recognize my hand and pop open the door.
John Deere listens when I speak. And remembers. He asked me Saturday about something I said a month ago.
John Deere drinks sweet tea. The Ex didn't like tea. Freak.
John Deere doesn't start every sentence with "Mom said", "I was telling Mom", or "You gotta laugh." Nor does he end every sentence with "so..." That drove me nuts!
John Deere doesn't like ketchup. The Ex smothered all meat and potato matter with it.
John Deere reads his Bible. The Ex didn't even know where his was. (At his parent's house. Duh.)

I really am trying not to compare them They are two totally different men, thank goodness! I'm just trying to enjoy this season in my life, no expectations, no time limits, no games.

Let's just see where this goes.