The Fashion Police have been on patrol and it's time for more intervention, fat-girl style!
1. Muffin Tops. Unfortunately you don't even have to be a fat girl to achieve this little beauty. The first problem is your pants are too tight. The second problem is that you're getting low-cut pants that are bi-secting your butt into Upper and Lower regions, the Upper being the Muffin phenomenon. The third problem is that you pair this combo with a tight shirt that emphasizes the Muffin area. The fourth problem is that you think this looks good. The fifth problem is that there apparently isn't anyone in your world who has the chutzpa to tell you that you look ridiculous.
2. I said in the last Fat Girl post that I'd discuss Bra Size, but that may be too personal an argument. All I have to say is: Get Professionally Fitted! If you can't breathe, it's too small!
3. Plus Size Footwear. Yes, there is such a thing. I have found over the past few years a nice selection of Plus Size Socks, Plus Size Boots, and the famous Plus Size Pantyhose. Queen Size is so 1995.
At first I scoffed at the idea of Plus Size socks. But after paying better attention to the growing "Cankle" epidemic, I now see that it is needed. There is nothing more frustrating than buying a new pair of socks only to find they won't stay up your leg. And old-fashioned sock-garters are no longer an option. And Thank You to whoever invented Plus Size Knee Highs! I may have lost both legs at the knee by now if it weren't for you!
For my final thought, I'm considering a mentoring program for Fat Girls. If someone recently found herself in this area, or if she's been denying it for years, she needs a proper initiation into the Fat Girls Club. I attended a meeting yesterday and sat behind a, well, Fat Girl who needed a little help. Not only did she break a few of my cardinal Fat Girl rules (No clingy fabrics!) but she also needed basic make-up and hygiene assistance (Can we say dandruff shampoo?) If I had a mentoring program started, I could have introduced myself, given her my card, and given her the tools to access a network of other experienced Fat Girls to help guide her to greater self-confidence and a snazzy new hairstyle (Which she so desperately needed!)
*I do hope you, dear readers, can feel the sarcasm through your mouse. I know I am no Fashion Maven, nor do I think myself particularly fashionable. However, I do know what looks good and what makes me cringe, and will exercise my right to express my opinions freely.
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