I'm not sure from where I stole this, but it's cute and worth repeating.
5 Rules to Remember in Life:
1. Money can't buy you happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard's name.
3. Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they are in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
5. Alcohol does not solve problems but neither does milk.
I hope that clears up a few problems in your life.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
15 Year Reunion
I have been invited to my 15 year High School reunion, to be held this September. I have actually been considering whether I should go or not. I have decided on not, but haven't committed to clicking on the Decline button on the Facebook invite. Below are my reasons for not going. See if I missed anything...
1. I don't want to.
2. Most of the attendees are married and have kids. I don't. Pictures will be thrust in my face and endearing stories of cuteness and precociousness will be assaulting my ears. No thank you.
3. I really don't miss any of my classmates. I have kept in touch with a few folks from high school, but from different graduating years, not mine.
4. I wasn't good enough for them to talk to me then, I'm too good for them now.
5. I wasn't even invited to the 5 year reunion, and the 10 year was slapped together last minute, complete with a picnic for the kiddos to play. Yeah, sign me up.
6. I don't drink, and as the reunion will be held at the Elks Club, there will be booze a'flowin. Drunk people annoy me.
7. I don't want to.
8. I can't lose 100 pounds between now and then without surgically removing something.
9. I don't think John Deere would have a good time. I know I wouldn't.
10. I have to pay to attend. They should pay ME for rehashing all those memories I have so conveniently repressed.
11. Our class song was Macarena. Honestly. 'Nuff said.
12. I don't want to.
13. I don't even know what one wears to such an occassion. Would I have to go shopping for a dress? Is it business casual? Should I dress in the lovely fashion of 1997?
14. I'm fairly positive there will be a movie I need to see that night. Or maybe I'll be washing my hair.
15 I don't want to.
I think those are substantial enough reasons.
Yeah. Not going.
1. I don't want to.
2. Most of the attendees are married and have kids. I don't. Pictures will be thrust in my face and endearing stories of cuteness and precociousness will be assaulting my ears. No thank you.
3. I really don't miss any of my classmates. I have kept in touch with a few folks from high school, but from different graduating years, not mine.
4. I wasn't good enough for them to talk to me then, I'm too good for them now.
5. I wasn't even invited to the 5 year reunion, and the 10 year was slapped together last minute, complete with a picnic for the kiddos to play. Yeah, sign me up.
6. I don't drink, and as the reunion will be held at the Elks Club, there will be booze a'flowin. Drunk people annoy me.
7. I don't want to.
8. I can't lose 100 pounds between now and then without surgically removing something.
9. I don't think John Deere would have a good time. I know I wouldn't.
10. I have to pay to attend. They should pay ME for rehashing all those memories I have so conveniently repressed.
11. Our class song was Macarena. Honestly. 'Nuff said.
12. I don't want to.
13. I don't even know what one wears to such an occassion. Would I have to go shopping for a dress? Is it business casual? Should I dress in the lovely fashion of 1997?
14. I'm fairly positive there will be a movie I need to see that night. Or maybe I'll be washing my hair.
15 I don't want to.
I think those are substantial enough reasons.
Yeah. Not going.
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